Dear Diary,
What Mummy told me is coming true now. Maybe for all these years Im just being so stubborn to face the truth. And yes, the truth its right here in front of me. I could never re-concealed what happened 2 years back. I could never amend the damages that I had voluntarily done. But I cant be just friends. But I cant bare to turn him as my enemy. The thought of losing him again, well it was never an 'again' it was actually a done deal. Rephrase? The thought of losing him really scares me and make me really sick in my stomach until I had to force myself to vomit just to make the thought get away. Dont worry, Im not a bulimic if that is your concern, I am still fat as a cow, but at least not as fat and dermatology 911-mayday as she is!
Huh! I think I need to get through this, alone or not, its not the main thing. The main thing is, I still have many things that I must achieve and I still have my own personal hobbies and interest to keep occupied. And with that I hope Ill get him over with soon. And by the fact that Im actually an expert to hide away my real affections or feelings on someone, I think I can take that as my special features. Who needs a man anyway? I could me more successful without having to worry or taking care of another heart.
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