Dear diary,
Something that is new yet the feelings is still old. I know what Im doing but yet I dont quite figure it out. Im not confused, actually I know what I want & what will I do or even have but the feeling of incomplete still hunting me every time. Sometimes, I do feel like throwing it away & just keep moving on but every time Im alone & down, when I look besides me, Im the only person that exist in the room. Its not I dont want to share, but who I can trust? The person that I trust has betrayed me or in the beginning Im the one that was on denial. I will forever be in denial until a person that can convince me secure me that Ill be alright. Before, I was so certain & so sure with who Im going to ended with but then everything become so blur & till now it just fades away. And I dont want to feel that way but its the ultimate truth that I have to face. Yes, life is tough & life is just not fair, when we want to succeed, life will bring us down & vise-versa.
p/s: One thing that I have learned about myself is, when Im angry Ill just shut-up & wont talk until my anger fades away. But it will just take a few minutes or hours then Ill be ok, just like nothing had happen before. But if the thing triggers my tears, Ill wont talk & even people who try to consult me Ill push it away. And for the time for me to calm down, it will take much longer time then before & the worst thing I wont forget but Ill pretend for the sake of good.
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