2012/2013

Dear Diary,
         HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! Its 2013 now and we are still ALIVE! Yeah, the Maya's prediction tak menjadi lak kan...kuang kuang kuang!! Wokeyh, everytime when new year arrive, everyone is talking about new resolutions right? But I dont want to talk about resolutions, I will but maybe after what I want talk first. 

         Well as I know, 2012 doesnt really ended well for me. Mummy passed away and DCB was taken away from me (damn! u minah! ;p ) and I did a few not supposed to do things and whenever u make bad decisions well u will suffer the consequences laa kan. But on the other hand (I dunno right or left) I realized my mistakes, I can say I regretted but if I didnt do it I wouldnt learn aite and  try to amend it. Like for now, I realized I already lost 2 person that matters to me the most, so I dont want to lose anyone or anything anymore, I decided to hushed away my ego and break down the great wall of china even it will make myself vulnerable but never mind and just stop pushing people away for once. I had been pushing away people that actually care about me ever since, even I pushed away Mummy sometimes just because I was scared to admit my feelings.

         Therefore, 2013 Im going to restart from ground zero, keep a mutual feelings and relationships towards all doesnt matter who they are or whom they will be and of course try to rekindle and make amends with the people that I had pushed away before. And 2013, will be a whole new beginning for me so take one step at a time :) Forgive the people that had made mistakes to me and ask for forgiveness to the people that I had hurt before. Whatever happens next, after that is all faith and destiny. So, lets transform to Felix The Fix It! ;p

        On 2012, the most top winning chart of question that usually been asked to mua was "BILA NAK KAWIN??" So my top winning answer was "SAYA TAKMO KAWIN..BOLEH TAK?" hahahahaha! Dey! How do I know when and who Ill be getting married? Isnt that rahsia Allah SWT? For all I know, I might be ending up with the guy that I had been stalking ever since last year ;p (who doesnt want to get married with the crush that we have?) or maybe the person that I been saying "just friends" would be "we're married". And who knows Ill be getting married tomorrow?? Jeng jeng jeng! For now, I dont want to be to much optimistic about this matter, I dont want to plan ahead to detail until I already set my deadline lets say "by 2014 Ill be married to si polan polan,  and my hantaran will be a 3 plank of full gold" haha! Because, if I do that, what going to happen if at the eve of 2014 Ill be breaking up with si polan polan because he had found himself a person could understand him more then I do or suddenly postponed my wedding date to 2020. Tak ke naya cam tuh? Then Ill be the one who end up tearing down a stream. (So not going down to that path again)

          So, it will be much more easier and safer for me in 2013, Ill be completing my degree and pursuing my   passion in cooking. No matter which road to go to or how long to get there, that Ill figure it out later. Its all by dengan izin Allah SWT, Dia yang Maha Mengetahui not me nor you. So, Ill not going to be surprise if the people that is saying now that they will do something by this time or this moment will change their plans within seconds and all the feeling that that they had is all gone down to the river.

         Ok! Resolutions? Hurm, like I said, I want to make amends, amends to the people that I know I need them to go through my life and amends to my self. Secondly, stop pushing away people around me! That was what Mummy told me cause I might end up alone. Thirdly, living up my dreams, there are so much things I want to do, and 2013 is the best year to start it all :)

      Maybe, Ill continue later, cz I already sleepy now, ideas also stuck...so goodnight! 2012 goodbye, 2013 be nice! Happy Schooling EVERYONE!!!