Dear Diary,
Kak Marissa is now back home and she had given birth to a seriously super adorable, healthy and cute 4.06kg baby girl :))) Given the baby was born yesterday early morning (dalam waktu subuh macam tuh) so today is like already 1 day years old laaaaa. She is big man, to be compared to Aisyah and Nazrin, she is bigger. And given chance, I got to carry her. Ya Allah, the feelings to carry a new born baby in my arms is so wonderful and I cant actually describe how the feelings was actually. I was like "Ya Allah, indahnye kurniaan Mu" and when she open her eyes it was like MAGIC! I dont know if she can actually see me or not, but when she open her eyes and her little eye balls is like straight away looked at me I was like, speechless and smiling at the same time. It was like, I can feel how adorable she will be and all the love that she will get from her family and others :) For the very first time after so many years "Ya Allah, Kau temukanlah aku dengan jodohku Ya Allah. I want to have a baby, I want to be a mother, I want to start a family"
Yea yea I know, I did mention that I didnt want to get married in any circumstances. But maybe at moments like this, I just let my guards down and yeah when that happen, my vulnerability comes out, that why the sentence come across my head. The baby actually slept in my arms, so delicately, so dreamy, so fragile. At that moment of time, the feeling of to guard her with all my might and power and at this time my DSCH daughter ego pops out. Its like, like the first time carry Aisyah "No one in this world can hurt you."
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