How am I suppose to content this feelings? It's a weird plus rough ride mixed with pleasure kind of feelings. I really need someone that I really can rely on and I can trust so that I know I have someone that I can hold whenever I'm slipping down. I am doing well physically but I am no more strong emotionally. If something big happen suddenly, I think I'll break down easily. Is not easy to see someone that u relied and depended for whole of your life to be in a state that is so fragile and vulnerable. Even though as usual people will say life must go on but you will never understand what am I going through until you are in it. It is not tiring of taking care a sick person but it is tiring within and emotionally. Sometimes I do want to just scream and throw a rage to everyone like I use too. But I need to very hard very very hard to compose every single bit of my emotion and thoughts.
A question: Have you ever been in the toilet and turn on the water tap and shower tap on so loudly as if your having the best shower in your life but yet you just sit on the toilet sit and cry?